No matter what you’d like to achieve in life, a mindset is key.
We tend to form some sort of beliefs about ourselves and others when we’re just a few years old. After all, this is when we learn about the world, life and surrounding people. Revisiting those beliefs consciously is something few of us do, though.
It’s such a shame! Often, we live our entire lives thinking we’re not smart enough, or can’t do this or that. Simply because we’ve had this one situation at school, or someone criticised us a long time ago.
I, for example, had a few beliefs that really cut my wings for a long time. I always loved to journal and definitely saw a few of those patterns in my behaviour before.
It was only when I was about to start my business though, that I noticed how much they don’t serve me.
I needed to do a reality check with those beliefs. I needed to forget some of them and learn new ones. Otherwise, I would’ve been stuck forever and my dreams would only stay that – dreams.
I must get to the X point to allow myself to start a business.
That was a big one. I thought I need to become a senior designer in my team. Then an art director and so on. I thought I will only be able to start my own business after I work for someone else long enough. Having my own business was my dream since I can only remember and I always knew this is where I want to end up.
I thought I needed to postpone it though, because I haven’t yet reached the point in my career where I can allow myself to quit.
Realising this huge block was life-changing. I worked it through with Melissa, my life coach, and after a few months, I was ready to quit my new job and take a leap of faith. I was terrified, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
Now I can see how much time I wasted waiting, trying to prove myself I’m worthy, ready, enough. This is something so many people struggle with!
I need security.
There’s a difference between safety and security. I used to think they are one and the same, though.
I strived for security (of my job, relationships, friends) and felt more and more drained. Security kept me from thriving for a long time.
What I now strive for is to see that I’m safe. Safe to want more, safe to try new things, safe to be successful and make my dreams come true. This is the mantra I tell myself every day.
This keeps me from falling into the comfort zone of security and allowing me to feel safe to go out there.
By going out of my comfort zone I learned so many new things, met incredible people and proved to myself that I can lead a different life, where I’m more fullfilled and happy.
Realising your limiting beliefs can be life changing.
You can’t thrive, when you’re stuck in security mode. Try to get out of your comfort zone and realise it’s safe. Even if you fail, it’s safe.
Rather than wasting time waiting, I prefer to get out there learn as I go.
I'm not ready yet.
This form of procrastination kept me stuck for years. I used to think that I don’t have enough to say to start a blog, not enough talent to have a business. I postponed so many things, simply because I thought I’m not ready yet and need to be perfect at something first.
Now I know perfection doesn’t exist and it’s always better to strive for progress instead. This blog or my business may not be perfect. There might be other people who are a lot better at this than I am.
But this doesn’t mean I can’t start and get better in the process. Rather than wasting time waiting, I prefer to get out there learn as I go.
I don't have enough resources.
Resources mean not only money but time, talents, knowledge, support. I used to stop myself from doing so many things I wanted to do, because of that reason.
The truth is, you may not always have everything. But you have enough. You need to be resourceful!
Starting your own business doesn’t have to cost a fortune, be clever and creative!
Starting a blog or dusting off your old hobby doesn’t need to mean you’d have to quit your job.
I often hear people say they don’t have time to do learn new things, start a blog or for their hobby, and then see them go and waste it watching TV or sitting in the pub.
If you want something, you’ll make time. You’ll find money, talents, resources. Stop giving yourself excuses. Start empowering yourself by noticing the abundance of resources you’re surrounded by.
Who am I to deserve it.
This huge block gave me a lot of headaches over the past year. When I started my business, I became successful quite quickly (to my surprise!). I earned good money and had time to spend my afternoons sipping coffee at a coffee shop.
Deep down, though, I felt bad about it. I journaled on it a lot, and found out my deep belief that I am not worthy of this.
I thought about my past work colleagues and the fact they are so talented, yet are still stuck at work without a clue how to get out.
I thought: who am I to have this awesome lifestyle, where there are people more talented than I am who don’t?
Sounds silly, right? Loads of people have this block, though!
I needed to understand that I deserve it. Yes, there are people more talented than me that can’t enjoy the lifestyle of working for yourself. They also deserve it. But they need to take action, which they didn’t do yet. That’s the only thing.
What helped me feel better is realising I worked freaking hard for this, when others played. I didn’t have a summer because I worked my weekends off. I worked on my commute to work. I worked on my commute after work. I worked on Saturdays, Sundays and bank holidays to get to the point where I can quit my job.
I wanted it bad, believed I can do it and made it happen.
Now I try to dig even dipper and realise I never had to justify that anyways. I am worthy of making money while I’m asleep. I’m worthy of having clients that are like my friends, respect my work and are a dream to deal with. I am worthy of not having to commute to work, be stuck at my desk all day and deal with my boss.
Some limiting beliefs you get rid of as soon as you realise something – then you can’t go back and unlearn it. Some of them require constant work. But it’s worth it.
It’s safe to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. It’s safe to make your dreams come true.
It’s actually not fair of you not to use your talents and dreams to be the best version of yourself. After all, you received these to thrive, not just get by. Your goal should be making the most of them. Even if it means rethinking the way you live your life and see the world.